There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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