Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
