piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
