wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
