went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
