If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
