sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
