Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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