your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
