Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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