There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
