I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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