I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
