He asked to "fluff my boner.."
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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