dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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