well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
