Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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