Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im holly from the hills drunk
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
