ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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