he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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