Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
