hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
