16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
