I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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