OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize