Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
