Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
