the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
