the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
