but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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