sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
