i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Let's paint friendship bongs
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
