I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
