i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
its liver damage thursday
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
