His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
