we have officially lost it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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