So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize