You can't special order awesome
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
