508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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