i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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