so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
