I wish I could teleport
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
