Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
