Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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