Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
