there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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