They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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