If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
