Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
