I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
