I love watching others lives come down to our level.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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