Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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