I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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