i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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