i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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