The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
