This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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